How to get Her Back

As Mars Retograde lurches forward, the mail bag is full of emails about getting the girlfriend back. This is just part of what goes on in Mars Retrograde, but you may find it affecting you.

It isn't as hard as it seems. The main thing between two people is the attraction, and you know that she was once attracted to you.

The method matters a whole lot, and you need to give her (SHOW her) a REASON why she should want to come back to you. This depends upon your astrological sign and hers. You can get some important tips on this from a reading. A Leo woman will probably want to know that you won't insult her again, or wound her pride. The Gemini woman will want reassurance that you really mean it this time, i.e., marriage.

Email for a reading at semiramis.appiamo@hotmail.com. It could be the most important thing in your life.

Good Holiday Advice

Who do you want to be this holiday season?
Rx for Health , Dr. Susan E. Allen
Eagle-Tribune
—
Several years ago, my husband and I and our college-age children gathered for Thanksgiving dinner around a big table in the home of out-of-state relatives. The details aren't vital, but what is important is that when the four of us left to drive home, we apparently couldn't wait to get in the car and let out a collective and negative "Ahhhhh!"

While the food was great, and we all had more than enough, the mood during the day had been very different from what we would have hoped for on this day of gratitude and thanks. We slipped into disappointment, negativity, even judgment.

We criticized one cousin for talking about himself the whole time, expressed anger at distasteful comments, and generally agreed that this was not a pleasant time for us.

I will always remember that Thanksgiving, and in the years since then, I have not been proud of my own reactions to it. In fact, some of those cousins, aunts and uncles present may well have been just as critical of our ways. This is not unusual among families. It doesn't take a professional to realize the heightened emotional energy that many of us feel at various family gatherings, including weddings, summer vacations, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Hanukkah. There is arguably nothing more predictable in the field of mental health than the stresses and emotional upheaval that arise every November and December.

As we get older, there are even more new challenges during the holidays. Aging parents. Parents or siblings who have died. New "significant others" in the lives of sons and daughters. Children who have grown and moved away and are not able to be at home for the holidays. Perhaps the pain of divorce or the energy of a newly blended family.

We are challenged over and over again to face difficult relationships along with the easier ones. We are challenged to engage with people who bring out the less likable parts of ourselves as well as those who bring out the best in us. We are challenged to seek reconciliation and acceptance, as well as to feel gratitude.

So, who do you want to be in your family this holiday season? Here are four steps to consider as you anticipate your holiday gatherings:

* Try to have realistic expectations. Marsha Linehan, a professor of psychology at the University of Washington, encourages "making friends with reality." Have realistic expectations of what can change and what cannot. This might include learning to live with hurt or pain, and even allowing it to be the catalyst for a transformation of some kind. Approaching a family event this way will likely lead to less disappointment and some nice surprises.

* Use your emotional intelligence. Notice your feelings and manage them in healthy ways. Our emotions give us good information about ourselves, but it's best not to act on all of them. Notice other people's emotions, too. Can you understand why they might feel the way they do? Can you experience both detachment and empathy in your relationships?

* Be values-based. What are your most important values? How are you acting on them or honoring them in your interactions and behaviors? As we get older, we are called to greater depth, integrity and honesty. When you look within, what is really important? Is your demeanor aligned with your core values?

* Lighten up. Is there a chance you can walk away from this year's family gathering and say, "Wow! That was so much fun!"? Think about what would need to happen for you to have those feelings. What steps can you take to make this a possibility? Imagine the even greater possibilities if you share these thoughts with others. Embrace the goal of making this holiday season even just a bit more enjoyable than you had anticipated.

Dr. Susan E. Allen is a life coach and licensed psychologist in Newburyport who specializes in the second half of life. To learn more, visit http://www.secondhalfcoaching.com.

Look before you leap

This Mars Retrograde with companion Jupiter continues to make things more complex and difficult than they should be - or are. Jupiter magnifies everything. This is a time when we really need to have PERSPECTIVE on what's going on and the cards know.

Special message for Leos -- set your pride aside for now and do what you need to do, calmly and with the magnanimous spirit for which you are known. It isn't you -- it's them -- but you are the one to keep the situation from escalating. Manage your own sense of discouragement now about all those 'cubs' who should be listening to you and aren't. You're very busy, king of the jungle, and they aren't listening. Oh my!

This will change in a couple of weeks. Right now do what you do best - love the world in your heart, do some personal grooming, and sleep a lot!!

The Deadliest Sign of All - Aquarian Male

ATTENTION - if you are a woman dating an Aquarian male, I have an important message for you. And just to let you know I know what you're going through (especially with this Mars Retrograde)

from today's mailbag:

A Michigan woman and her family were vacationing in a small new England town where Paul Newman and his family often visited. One Sunday morning, the woman got up early to take a long walk. After a brisk five-mile hike, she decided to treat herself to a double-dip chocolate ice cream cone. She hopped in the car, drove to the center of the village and went straight to the combination bakery/ice cream parlor.There was only one other patron in the store. Paul Newman, sitting at the counter having a doughnut and coffee. The woman's heart skipped a beat as her eyes made contact with those famous baby-blue eyes. The actor nodded graciously and the star struck w oman smiled demurely.Pull yourself together! She chides herself. You're a happily married woman with three children, you're forty-five years old, not a teenager! The clerk filled her order and she took the double-dip chocolate ice cream cone in one hand and her change in the other. Then she went out the door, avoiding even a glance in Paul Newman's direction.When she reached her car, she realized that she had a handful of change but her other hand was empty. Where's my ice cream cone? Did I leave it in the store? Back into the shop she went, expecting to see the cone still in the clerk's hand or in a holder on the counter or something. No ice cream cone was in sight. With that, she happened to look over at Paul Newman. His face broke into his familiar warm friendly grin and he said to the woman,

'You put it in your purse.'

If you're facing those Aquarian eyes and feel like you're about to put your ice cream cone in your purse (AGAIN!!) - let me help you. Fast!! No kidding.

And this applies to everyone.

Hate to be the one to tell you (I know you know this already) but this "holiday season" combined with Mars Retrograde, and the Jupiter thing ... not a chance. It's an astral tumult, and it applies to everyone. Let me help you navigate the astral storm. Email for a reading.